So I came home the other night and my entire house smelled like smoke. And not of the electrical or chemical burning, either – no, this was cigarette or cigar smell. I noticed, too, a haze in almost every room and, while I tried to ignore it, I just couldn’t. So, I stupidly forced a confrontation with the asshole with whom I share my house. Here is how the conversation went:
Me: “why do I smell smoke?”
Him: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Me: “I definitely smell it and the whole house is smoky. Was there a problem with the oven or the dryer or something?”
Him: “No. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” (looking at me like I am the dumbest human being on the planet)
Me: “Was someone smoking in here?”
Him: “No. Who would I have in here?” (now getting antagonistic)
Me: “God only knows.” (thinking about the legions of trampy mistresses) “But if no one was in here smoking, I’m going to have to call 9-1-1 because we must have a fire burning in the wall or something.”
Him: “Don’t do that. I had a cigar, ok?” (downright pissy now) “A guy had a baby and gave out cigars so I smoked it.”
Me: “You don’t have to lie to me. We’re not married anymore so please don’t disrespect me by lying about stupid shit.”
Him: “I didn’t lie to you about anything.” (acting all wounded and insulted)
So, this was by far the DUMBEST argument I think I have ever been involved in. He lied straight to my face and it wasn’t until I had to threaten to call 9-1-1 that he finally told the truth. And then he tells me that he didn’t lie to me. And it was all over the stupidest, pettiest thing. What the hell??
First of all, we are trying to sell our house and, as my husband tells the story, I am sabotaging the sale. Never mind that *he* is the one that leaves dirty laundry out in the front hall on a day he knows the house is being shown. Never mind that *he* is the one that has a derelict car, lawnmower, AND air compressor hanging out in the front yard like the freaking Clampetts. And now he’s going to smoke cigars in the house and have it smelling bad – and somehow I bet that will all be my fault too.
Secondly, it just clearly illustrates for me how easily and naturally he can lie to me. Obviously (since his mistress claims they’ve been together since before he and I married) he’s very skilled at keeping secrets and lying to me. And, obviously, I was too naive and stupid to realize it and question it. Only now, when I am wiser and don’t have anything to lose, do I question the truthfulness of what he tells me. How sad is that?
And lastly, it just irritates the crap out of me that I so clearly have withstood this kind of disrespect. How long have I been dumb enough to be lied to and verbally abused? And what is it about my emotional makeup that not only tolerated it for almost 10 years but also comes to expect it? What on God’s green earth is wrong with me? OY!
Have you ever thought about writing an ebook or guest authoring on other websites? I have a blog based on the same subjects you discuss and would really like to have you share some stories/information. I know my visitors would enjoy your work. If you’re even remotely interested, feel free to shoot me an e mail.