Vehicularly Homicidal

 If you’ve read any of my blog postings, you’ll notice a common theme to a lot of them – how I’m coping with my separation and pending divorce. One topic that I have not really expounded upon (and oh boy, could I!) is the subject of adultery. Yes, I am a statistic for marriages ended by a cheating spouse. I hate that fact and I am shamed by it. I ask myself every day how I could have been such a bad wife to have driven my husband to have an affair – and an affair with a woman who has a mustache (seriously, get the girl some Nair), who is going bald (Rogaine makes a great product) and who has a rotating front door for men (at last count, she has 2 other boyfriends). Oh my God, I was that bad as a wife? SHE was a better option?

But the bitter clincher came when I found out that this woman was spreading the rumor (along with about 50 others)  that I had tried to run her over with my car. Seriously?! First of all, as Yoda says, there is no TRY there is only DO – if I meant to hit her with my car, I damn well would have succeeded! Secondly, is she even worth the dent in my car? Thirdly, if I’m going to go to prison for hurting her, I’m going to get the pleasure of making her look me in the eye first. And lastly, anyone who really knows me would know I am NOT the type of person to commit vehicular homicide!

Or, so I thought. Apparently, quite a few people actually believed that nonsensical story! I guess I’m not doing my job as a decent human being well enough if people who have known for 10 years can believe I would do something like that! How could people who claim to be my friend actually think I would do something like that? I mean, REALLY?

So, I am proclaiming to the world right here and right now that I am innocent of these accusations! I have not now, nor would I ever, consider vehicular homicide. So, please, if you hear these nasty rumors floating around, ignore them and consider the source. Thank you.

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