Someone recently told me that all women watch “The Golden Girls” which got me thinking about the gender differences in television viewing. Why are some shows considered manly and some not? Why can’t a guy watch or enjoy programming targeted at women? And, more important, why are shows like “Sex and the City” and “The Golden Girls” so wildly popular with women. And here is the theory that I have come up with: we as women can relate to and identify with those characters. We all have circles of friends that have the same characteristics and dynamics as those two sets of women. And we ourselves can see our own personalities in those 8 women.
“The Golden Girls” was a groundbreaker for the many female-based shows to follow. It didn’t show women in the ‘traditional’ roles of mothers, teachers, nurses, waitresses, etc. – these were retirees, grandmothers, single women enjoying their lives. It didn’t portray the female stereotypes of the empty-headed, meek and submissive woman waiting for a man to tell her what to do – it showed women who were strong, smart, outspoken, and independent. It didn’t focus only on the domestic issues that Mrs. Cleaver and Mrs. Brady battled. It didn’t shy away from real womens’ issues – instead, we watched REAL women talk about sex, jealousy, getting old, getting dumped, and getting fat, along with many other important issues. This truly was the first sitcom about a group of women acting like actual women.
Women of my generation grew up with the “Girls” and found their way through their 20’s with “Sex.” We sat in those restaurants with Carrie and the girls and in the kitchen with Blanche and company – and laughed at their various escapades, cringed at the bad date stories, and pondered the great meanings of our relationships. The lessons we learned from Blanche, Sophia and company when we were young helped us to cope with a new world that looked like Carrie Bradshaw’s column.
Ask any woman and she will have to admit that her group of girlfriends, including herself, has all the elements of both of these sets of women. We all know the tramp (Blanche and Samantha), the naive one (Rose and Charlotte), the intellectual (Carrie and Dorothy) and the wise woman (Miranda and Sophia). BUT we also identify with those same characters, finding those characteristics in ourselves. No one woman falls so neatly into any category – we all have elements of ALL of those women. I think that’s why these shows are so popular – every woman in the world can identify with and relate to ALL of these types of women. And we have all experienced some of the same issues. We have all struggled with being women in a world designed for men. We all have sat around eating really fattening food and swapping stories about our love lives. We all have struggled with careers, the biological clocks, frustrating family members, awkward social situations, and unrealistic gender roles.
So in pondering this theory, I asked myself which character I most relate to. I’m too smart to be Rose, too jaded to be Charlotte, too kind to be Miranda, too reserved to be Sophia, too self-conscious to be Blanche. I’m not nearly adventurous, attractive, or sexually experienced as Blanche or Samantha. I’m too pragmatic (and pessimistic) to be Rose or Charlotte. I haven’t got the brains or personality needed to be Sophia or Miranda. I do come from a small town (Rose) and have a relatively idealized view of the world around me (Charlotte). I am a career woman (Miranda) who doesn’t have a need to be a mother (Samantha) and can speak my mind freely (Sophia).
Of these various women, though, I guess I most closely identify with Dorothy and Carrie. I have lived with a disappointing end to my marriage (Dorothy) and am seriously skeptical about men (Carrie). I love to write (Carrie) and to teach (Dorothy). I tend to be very cautious in my relationships and am hesitant to trust. I love my family dearly (Dorothy) but am content to be the lone wolf (Carrie). I consider myself too smart to fall into trouble but somehow end up there anyway. I desperately want to find a happy relationship (Carrie) but accept that I will have to play the hand dealt to me (Dorothy).
So, ladies, I invite you to think about your own lives – who do you want to be? What characteristics do you possess and who influenced you most growing up? Are you a Rose or a Samantha? A Miranda or a Blanche? Go on, let your inner “Golden Girl” out and take some time for “Sex” – and don’t forget to share those moments with your girlfriends!
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